Is life better after divorce? Learn how to move on after a divorce with these coping strategies
While a divorce can be heartbreaking, it doesn’t have to be a tragedy or viewed as a failure. Change is uncomfortable, and a divorce is undoubtedly one of the biggest life changes you can experience. However, divorce can not only be a catalyst for growth, but it can also give you new life.
Whether one or both of you decided to part ways, divorce can be freeing, especially if your marriage was unhappy or unhealthy. Of course, you may deal with loneliness at times and feel overwhelmed at the responsibility of managing things by yourself. But you can also gain confidence in yourself.
Of course, divorce doesn’t guarantee happiness, just as marriage doesn’t. But you can find ways to help you find a better life after divorce.
Why you may be happier after a divorce
- You do not have to make any unnecessary adjustments to keep an unhappy relationship going.
- You feel more empowered and independent because you’re living on your own and making decisions about your own life.
- You know more about what you want and what you do not want because of your past experiences.
- You may make better choices when it comes to future partners because now you know what you liked and didn’t like in your previous relationship.
- You may discover new passions or things that make you feel good about yourself.
How to help children cope after a divorce
Many parents try to stay in marriages, even unhappy ones, for the sake of their children. However, kids are more perceptive than you may think, and a troubled marriage may be harming them more than a divorce.
Of course, helping your kids find their footing after a divorce can be challenging. Here are a few tips that may guide you when helping your children cope with divorce:
- Don't involve your children in your conflicts. Avoid voicing negative feelings or speaking ill of your partner in front of your kids, and avoid arguing in front of them, as well.
- Help your children build trust in you by being available for them and keeping the promises you make to them.
- Be a good listener. Let your children openly express how they feel about your divorce, and try to help them feel understood.
- Reassure them of your love, and explain to them that sometimes people just need to part ways. It's no one’s fault.
- Try to keep your children’s daily routine consistent. Stability and familiarity will go a long way in helping your children adapt to their new normal.
- Discuss parenting responsibilities with your partner when needed. This will help ensure that your child does not suffer because of your separation.
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Medically Reviewed on 7/13/2021
Segal J, Kemp G, Smith M. Dealing with a Breakup or Divorce. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm
Montenegro XP. The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond. AARP. https://assets.aarp.org/rgcenter/general/divorce.pdf